itsALEXAachacon

Alexa Achacon. UTSC. Toronto.

theodorepython:

miami-tea:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

(Source: secretsbest, via nicoleadrixp)

chenndaddy:

“Enchanted River - Phillipines

‘NO ONE HAS EVER REACHED ITS BOTTOM’
Enchanted River is found in the Phillipines. It is called “enchanted” because no one has ever reached its bottom. Many people, including scuba divers have tried reaching for the bottom but have failed, hence the legend of its bottomless pit. Moreover, locals share that NOBODY has been successful in catching the fish in this river, whether by hand or by spear.
They say its bluish color is a result of its depth and the water clarity changes throughout the day. At around 12:00pm, the water becomes clearer and even more majestic.”

This is one of the reasons why I love the Philippines.

(Source: sumpunkkidwithtattoos, via thatdramazingmoment)

shutupaubrey:

my dad and this other guy were fighting over who would go on a date with my mom in high school so they put their forearms together and my mom dropped a lit cigarette in between them and said “first one to pull away loses” and my dad still has a little scar

(via nicoleadrixp)

l1berum:

OMG HE WAS SLEEPING WITH HIS NOSE JUST ABOVE WATER LEVEL

(Source: pleatedjeans, via nicoleadrixp)

glowpinkstah:

theflawsofmydesign:

alwayslookagain:

Cookie Dough Ice Cream Pizza

Holy.

BUY ONE FOR MMMMEEEE!!

shitsnothilarious:

So, whoever made this has taught me more in this one pic set than 12 years of grade school, 4 years of college and my ongoing years in law school.

(Source: iraffiruse, via skinnychicksandpornoflicks)

megnesiums:

Let’s play ‘were those fireworks or did someone on my street just get shot’

(via thesuperherokiller)

joshifereverlark:

ayaisamazing:

It doesn’t matter if you’re pretty

or plain,

tall

or short,

or have things all over your face,

because what truly matters is

what’s inside you.

this is actually the most meaningful and thoughtful post i have ever seen on tumblr